How to Take Personal Responsibility for Your Success and Get Your Life Together

People have all kinds of goals. Some want to make a lot of money, some want big families, and others want to travel the world and explore new places.

Whatever your goals, I want to help you take personal responsibility for your success so you can get your life together.

We, as humans, have many amazing superpowers. One of my clear favorites is our ability to create the future we desire. It’s truly amazing if you think about it. When you take the time to reflect on what you want your future to look like, when you create a plan of action, and then execute that plan, most any reality can be yours. And that’s what I want to help you do. To clarify and crystallize what you want your future to look like.

I like having a framework for doing things. A formula or recipe for success. I want to know that if I follow certain steps, I’ll get this result.

That’s what I’ve created for you to help you attain the levels of success you truly want.

You and I have enough time to do everything we want, but not enough time to waste. So let’s get started.

Overview of what we’ll cover:

Examine your existing beliefs and emotions around success
Decide how you’d like to feel and think about success
Clarifying your success goals and the life you want
Decide on your course of action and create your plan
Making it real and sustainable in your life
Removing blocks/impediments
A learning framework for making it happen
Have the will to do it or put the mechanism in place to ensure it’s completion

Examine your existing beliefs and emotions around success

What’s really holding you back from the success you want?

We all have core beliefs, whether we’re aware of them or not. Much like your phone has an operating system that’s always running in the background, our core beliefs are always guiding our decision making.

Some of them were given to us at birth, many were installed when we were very little, and some have been downloaded along the way.

When you start thinking about yours, you’ll begin to recognize what your current version is. If you’re happy with them, excellent. If you’re not, I’ve got good news- you can change them. It won’t be easy, but you can do it.

Beliefs about success

Here is a list of prompts about success. As you read through them, write down the first thing that comes to mind; don’t overthink it.

Successful people are
Success makes people
I’d be more successful if
My family thought being successful was
My parents thought success was
Success equals
If I were more successful I’d
Success is
Being successful is not
In order to be successful, I’d need to
When I’m feeling successful, I usually
I think success
People think success

Now that you’ve written your initial thoughts on each of these, go back through and think more deeply about the ones that we’re the most triggering.

For example, if you wrote “If I were more successful I’d have the life I wanted,” spend time thinking about why you think that way. Were your parents successful? Did your family talk about success? Did your parents consider themselves successful?

For me, I definitely felt like I needed to attain a certain level of monetary success before I would feel successful as a person.

I didn’t take into consideration all of my other accomplishments and things I was good at; I only focused on money.

It wasn’t until I recognized that limiting belief that I was able to make positive changes and come to the recognition there’s a lot more to success then money.

The more you can dig into your past and examine it, the better the chances of changing your beliefs from negative to positive.

To help you in this process, you can access our Values Course at no-cost.

Decide how you’d like to feel and think about success

Once I get that new job, then I’ll be happy. Once I get that car, then I’ll be happy. Once I

I’m married and have a family, then I’ll be happy. Does any of that sound familiar?

We have an odd relationship with goals and happiness, and too often, we think about them

the wrong way. So, instead of thinking “once I get more money, then I’ll be happy,” decide how you want to feel, then think deeply about why you want what you want.

Once you’ve done that, then you’ll set your goals.

I’ve found word association helps me to get clear on how I truly want to feel.

For example, when I hear Good Parent, I feel present, I feel fully engaged, I feel locked-in and focused, I feel satisfaction. I have really good and strong feelings around being a good parent. This is a clear priority for me.

Let’s go through some Y word association. For each, write down your initial feelings.

Successful
Accomplished
Highly capable
Productive
In charge
Revered
Go-getter
Driven
Focused

The idea is to figure out how you want to feel. Once you’ve gone through each one, go back through them again and dig deeper. You can certainly add more as well.

To help you in this process, you can access our Goals Course at no-cost, where you’ll go deeper into this process.

Clarifying your success goals and the life you want

I talked about how our ability to create the future we desire is a superpower.

When you take the time to reflect on what you want your future to look like, when you create a plan of action, and then execute that plan, most any reality can be yours.

It’s time to create the future you desire.

For each prompt, write down what you want (Feel free to add/subtract/substitute anything you’d like).

What is your family situation?
How are you active in your community?
What do you do for a living?
How much money do you earn?
What’s your net worth?
Are you physically active?
Are you mentally healthy?
Are you emotionally healthy?
What do you focus your attention on outside of work and family?
Are you spiritually healthy?

Be honest with yourself. Don’t judge yourself. What you want is what you want, and it’s great (whatever it is). These are your goals, this is your life, and you’ve got one shot at it. Plan for the life you want to live.

Again, you can access our Goals Course at no-cost, where you’ll go deeper into this process.

Decide on your course of action and create your plan

You’ve examined your existing beliefs. You’ve decided how you want to feel. You’ve clarified your goals. Now it’s time to chart your course of action and create your plan.

For each area, determine the desired result, cost and time horizon for making it happen. As you continue along, you’ll refine your plan and get more specific.

Example 1: My desired result is to have a family. I’m currently in a relationship. I will speak with my significant other about family planning in the next 30 days.

Example 2: My desired result is starting a business. I’ll need $50,000 of capital. I will save it up over the next two years.

Example 3: My desired result is better physical health. I’ll need to lose 20 lbs. I will begin exercising 3 times a week and making meals at home immediately.

Complete this structure for each of your goals.

Making it real and sustainable in your life

It’s not enough to know. It’s not enough to know how. You also have to make change real and sustainable.

You need to recognize this is a lot. There’s immense technical knowledge in many different areas; relationships, finance and career, and fitness and nutrition.

Then there’s recognizing any emotional connections that exist. And then it’s integrating it all together.

You need to figure out how to maximize your resources of time, attention and money. And, you’ll need to take into consideration your desire and interest; do you want to spend time on this?

There has to be someone whose job it is to bring all of this together.

The good news is, it’s available at every level. There are world-class coaches and advisors who can help in every area, as well as online programs, classes and courses.

But it comes down to choice. Will you choose to dedicate the resources to doing this? Will you accept the personal responsibility?

And that’s the most fundamental truth of all. The ultimate responsibility for your success is YOURS.

Removing blocks/impediments

Whenever we’re trying to make real and lasting change, we’re going to run into blocks and impediments. These blocks can be both internal and external, so it’s important to be aware of them.

Fundamental blocks keeping us from the success we want:

Literacy in key areas (Relationships, finance, nutrition and exercise, etc)
Feelings of unworthiness
Lack of clarity on values
Lack of clarity on goals
Lifestyle choices
Negative or toxic relationships
Inherent biases and blindspots
Acting emotionally versus logically
Improper levels of risk
Poor planning or no planning
Bad investments of time money and attention
Poor time management
Lack of automation and delegation

When we become aware of them, we need to take proper action to overcome them.

For example, if you lack literacy on investing, you could read blog posts and listen to podcasts, read a book or take a course, or work with an advisor or a coach.

For example, if you have toxic relationships in your life, you’ll need to figure out how to fix the problems, or move on from that person.

For example, if you don’t currently have a spiritual practice, you’ll need to research your options, decide which to pursue and figure out how to incorporate it into your life.

To overcome what’s holding you back may require resources.

Where can you get the new knowledge you need? Knowing where you can go for information and knowledge is extremely important.

Do you want to spend time on this? Some people really enjoy personal development, while others would prefer to not spend much time on it. There’s no right or wrong answer to this question. Again, it’s important to be honest with yourself.

Will you spearhead this effort, or will you find partners?

A Learning Framework for Making it Happen

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.”

Benjamin Franklin

Whatever you’re trying to get better at, if it’s personal finance, relationships or your become an entrepreneur, there are three models for doing it.

DIY Model. Information and raw data is everywhere. I’ve certainly combed through it all to learn new skills. You can listen to podcasts, watch YouTube videos and read blogs on literally every topic and success is no different.

Invest Model. Tapping into the knowledge and teachings of others can greatly enhance the learning process. I’ve paid for and benefitted from many courses from college to online learning. There are a lot of courses for achieving success.

Partner Model. Wisdom is more valuable today than ever. Getting the support and expertise in the form of coaching, advising or a mastermind can get you where you want to go a lot faster. Working with a coach, traner, or joining a mastermind can help you get where you want to go a lot faster.

Obviously, the more you can interact with an expert, the better. But if you have the time and attention, you can most certainly piece everything together on your own.

Have the will to do it or put the mechanism in place to ensure it’s completion

I think self-discipline is an incredible thing and I greatly value mine. It helps me to do things even when I don’t feel like doing them. Like getting out of bed in the morning to exercise, and managing our household budget.

I also don’t think it’s a genetic thing; I think you can cultivate and strengthen self-discipline.

Do you know who David Goggins is? He’s possibly the most self-disciplined and intense human on the planet. He transformed himself from unhealthy and out-of-shape to a world-class athlete and he inspires millions of people.

I bring him up because it took David Goggins a while to get where he is today, and it may take you a while to get where you want to go with money. You can’t get out of debt in a week any more than you can lose 100 pounds in a month.

Structure first. Then self-discipline.

As you work up to your Goggin’s level of self-discipline, putting structure in place will help you get everything that needs to get done. That’s where your SOP comes in.

Your SOP (Standard operating procedure)

A standard operating procedure is a set of step-by-step instructions compiled by an organization to help their people get what needs to get done, completed.

If it’s for an organization, why would an individual have one?

If you have a simple, straightforward and uncomplicated life, you probably don’t need one. Odds are, you have a complex life with a lot of moving parts. The more you can systematize and put structure around the things that need to get done, the better.

When it comes to success, I’ve already talked about how complex it can be. Keeping on top of everything that needs to happen on a monthly basis is important.

Checklists. One day, perhaps many of the things you need to be successful will be second nature. Until that day, make a checklist for everything that needs doing. For example, having a checklist for your morning routine can set you up for daily success.

Calendar. What gets scheduled, gets done. If you don’t put all of your important activities into your calendar, they’ll get bumped by some other “emergency.” For example, schedule your meal prep and workouts into your calendar.

Automate. The more we can take our hands off the wheel, the better. For example, set up automatic bill pay and automatic contributions to your saving and investment accounts.

Delegate. Get a coach, trainer or join a mastermind. If there’s an area you lack in, find someone or something that can support you in your change.

I don’t want this to seem as though I’m doing a commercial for outsourcing, I’m not. You’re perfectly capable of doing this yourself. Again, be honest with yourself about whether or not you want to spend the time and attention it will take to get where you want to go.

If you find you need additional help, then look at outsourcing.