today’s letter today’s letter comes to us from Little Johnny little Johnny writes, Dear George, Gee, thanks for everything that you’re doing. Love, love your work. Love the show. Well, thanks little Johnny, how can I help? says Dear Georgie, my mom and dad are stuck. They’re stuck financially. They’ve been doing the same dumb stuff over and over again and over and over again. And they cannot get ahead financially. It’s having an adverse impact on their relationship, their financial future, and it’s stressing out my sister and I, what can they do to change their financial lives, their financial fortunes, for the better with a little Johnny? First, first foremost, thanks for taking the time to write in, you are in a really tough spot, buddy. And I am sorry to hear that. The unfortunate reality about money is that it touches every part of our lives behind infidelity, actual infidelity, it’s the number one cause of divorce. And I’m not saying that that’s what’s going to happen, buddy, I’m sure that that’s not what I’m sure that your parents are gonna stay together forever. It’s all going to work out awesome. But it’s clear that the adults in your life, what they’re doing is suboptimal. Not clear what it is that they want. But what they’re doing is not getting them, I’m assuming what they want. In fact, it’s doing the opposite, which is so hard. So I think that they probably know, if you were to sit down with them, if I were to sit down with your mom and dad say how’s it going how’s everything going with money, they would probably admit pretty freely and readily that were just doing the wrong stuff for being really stupid with our mind. Maybe they wouldn’t, maybe they would claim ignorance or say that this is just a phase and it’s gonna pass but odds are, they probably know what they’re doing is pretty dumb. It’s this classic behavior gap that I know intellectually what I’m supposed to do, but I just do this other thing anyway. It’s just, it is catch 22. It is just stupid behavior. That’s what I was trying to get to. But I get it. Change is really hard. Change is difficult. We follow predictable habits and routines. And a lot of the time we just don’t have the appetite, or the will or the headspace. There are so many reasons. And I can rationalize why it is that I am what I’m doing where I’m at. And that rationalization absolutely does keep us stuck, keeps us just kind of stuck where we are. So here’s what I know for sure. Little Johnny. In order for things to change, things need to change. In order for things to change, things need to change. And it’s not just an outside intervention. Like we’ll go over your other weight loss drugs, those are outside interventions, very popular ones. And one might say effective, I would say dangerous, temporary, leading foolish, I can keep going. You the individual in this example of Johnny, your mom and dad need to change. Otherwise, it’s just not going to stick. You can do all the fun outside interventions in the world. It’s not going to be real, it’s not going to stick, you’ll just be treating the symptoms instead of getting down to the root cause which I think that we all know. So here’s what’s going to happen, or here’s what rather needs to happen in order for your mom and dad to dislodge their heads from their backsides. In order for that to happen, first need to identify the problem. So what’s the problem? And then from there, it’s what are the symptoms of this problem? How is it actually manifesting? How is this problem actually showing up? So let’s go through an example. So the problem is, I’ve got a really poor diet, and I’m not exercising, so I’m eating crappy. And I just am sedentary I sit on my ass symptoms of the poor diet and the sedentary lifestyle is a fat ass cape. So I shoot myself up with some weight loss drug that then addresses the symptoms, in this case, my fat ass and it will potentially reduce the size of my fat ass tape. So that’s good. Don’t have that anymore but we have not gotten down to the root cause and unfortunately what is going to happen get my crystal ball out I can see into the future is that are going to just bounce back we’re gonna yo yo will route going to come off this drug. I’m going to put the weight back on because I haven’t changed my nutritional program. I have not changed my fitness or my exercise regimen at all. Okay, we got it. GEORGE doesn’t like weight loss drugs. You talk about it ad nauseam. What about being broke? How is that similar different? Well, let’s talk about the problem is could be a ton of things could be a ton of things, the actual problem resulting in your parents being broke, it could be that they’re just spending too much money. They’re to spend thrifts to spenders Mary, and they blow through all available cash comes in, goes out, let’s recirculate this money back into the economy. Okay. It could be that it’s not tracking their money to be they’re not paying attention to their cash flow, they never look at the transactions, they don’t budget, they’re not sticking to a budget, they could have made some really poor investment decisions, they could have lost money. I’ve certainly done that could be medical bills, could got sick, it could be a disability, so many things, many reasons that a problem exists, or just many problems that exist leading to the situation. So the symptoms, these are easy to figure out. And you kind of nailed it, your parents living paycheck to paycheck, there’s no money saved, they have credit card balances, they just roll over balances from month to month, their stress and anxiety of fighting about money, so many different symptoms of showing up. So let’s talk about some examples of outside interventions, kind of like the weight loss drug could be, we paid off a credit card, awesome. So that we figured out how to pay off the credit card, it could be you close some credit card accounts, so I can no longer use credit could be that you enrolled and took some kind of a personal finance class, or you met with a personal financial, or financial professional of some kind could be and all of these things may be very constructive, they’re still not really getting down to the root cause you’re only addressing the problems, you’re not addressing the problem really, truly or thoroughly. You’re just figuring out I got the symptom, I fixed the symptom, but not the problem. So the problem is more likely. It’s a lack of knowledge. It’s a lack of good habits, routines, or it’s the presidents and presidents of negative habits and routines can be just haven’t thought through your goals. No idea what your financial objectives are, can be you’re just super apathetic about your personal finances, you’ve resigned yourself to the future, or the reality that I’m just not good at money. In fact, I’m bad at money. So many things could be going on here. But fret not little Johnny, I’ve got some ideas to share with you that I think could help. And if you find yourself dear listener, in a similar situation, I really think that what I’m about to go through with you right now could be really beneficial. So lock in focus, it all starts with what you want. Do you know what you really want? I can’t imagine that what I really want is struggle financially for the rest of my life, I can’t imagine they want to be in and out of debt for the rest of my life. So what do you want? What are your money and personal financial goals? Do you have them? Have you ever thought about that? Some really common ones are getting out of debt, not letting not no longer living paycheck to paycheck, buying a house starting a business helping kids with education, being able to travel, being able to retire, or accumulating millions of dollars. These are awesome financial goals. So for each one of them, I want you to go through this framework. Classic, you know, Ben Franklin pros, cons kind of a thing. So at the top of the page, right, my goal is getting out of credit card debt. Okay? If I achieve that, what will I get? That’s the next step. If it happens, if I achieve if I get out of credit card debt, what do I stand a game? Who, when I get out of credit card debt, who will be doing that impact? Who will that have a positive impact on? Well, it’s going to have a positive impact on your parents, but also you? And how will the achieving it make you feel how we’re getting out of debt make you feel? Pretty awesome. Probably pretty empowered, right? The flip side is on the other side, if you don’t achieve it, what will you not get? Who will not achieving it? impact? So if you just keep doing what you’re doing, you don’t if you’re not able to do it, who’s that going to have an impact on and how will not get out of debt make you feel? Probably pretty crappy. So the idea is that I get really clear on the answer to those questions. And the idea is that

as I’m doing the drudgery of it. As I’m going through the drudgery of getting out of debt. It’s not easy, it’s a real pain in the neck. But those realization of how it’s going to make me feel is going to carry me through the negative feelings as opposed to just concentrating on why am I depriving myself Why am I doing this to myself? I’m just go back to what I was doing and I’ll figure it out eventually. Okay, when we link the positive good feelings, what I stand to gain, who’s going to benefit? And then the pain and fear of loss? Who am I really hurting? Who is this behavior hurting? Well, it’s hurting my loved ones. It’s hurting my kids. It’s hurting my family. It’s hurting my future, my future self, my kids, future selves, all of these things. So the reality about money and most other things is that our feelings control so much of our behavior, trust so much of our financial decision making everything else. So we need to get really clear on how I want to feel. I have control over that it’s a superpower, am I able to do that. And finally, almost finally, is a reality. That now is a very expensive word. And I’ll say that, again, now is a very expensive word. It’s a super powerful phrase that the great Gil Baumgarten dropped on me in a recent episode. Now is an expensive word. And we’re conditioned to now we live in an instant gratification society that’s fueled by our dopamine addiction, I want to move on that dopamine I want, likes, I want everything I want it now I can hit one button on my phone, and things appear on my house almost immediately and magically, what a time to be alive. Unless, of course, the tail is wagging the dog, I’m getting my lunch eaten, and I’m in the same boat as little Johnny’s parents, not a happy place to be. In order for things to change. Things need to change. Gotta tap into that human superpower that I was talking about our ability to decide how we feel about things. You get to decide how you want to feel about money. You get to decide how you want to feel about your overall financial success, then need to get your head right, and focus on the good things that will come from your sacrifices slash investment in your future. And keep that in mind as you’re going through this journey to getting out of debt and on the right path. So little Johnny, coach your parents up, buddy, help them get on the right path. And if I’m you, pal, I get out there and I start earning money. I start some lemonade stands, I go get a job. Go get a serving job out there and start getting some cash walking around money. So many good things have come out of that make your own good decisions, you could just be the inspiration that your folks need to get on the right track themselves. Thanks for writing in little Johnny by can help out I will buddy just let me know. Finally, friendly reminder. Never gonna be anybody more interested in your financial success than you are. So act accordingly.