What does “living well” mean to you?
I’m fond of saying, “The only way to live how you want is to know how you want to live.” For a long time, I didn’t really think about why I was doing what I was doing. I thought about my work as a means to an end; a way to earn money so I could have fun on the weekends. When I got a little older, I started to think more deeply about how I’d like to spend my time. I began to ask myself what living well meant to me.
It’s really easy to get carried along by the current of life, to be caught up in our patterns and habits. We’ve all got a lot going on, and there’s a never-ending stream of new emergencies constantly popping up.
And there are only 52 Saturdays a year. As Jack Kornfield famously said, “The trouble is, you think you have time.” If we don’t start living intentionally, time will slip away and we’ll be left wondering where it went.
You’ve got one life, why not live it the way you want?
I’m sure you already know this but there’s a cost of waiting. The longer we wait to pursue financial goals, the harder they become to reach. The older we get, the harder it is to do certain physical things. You and I have plenty of time to do most anything we want, but we don’t have time to waste.
With that in mind, it’s my desire to help you figure out what living well means to you. Once you know that, I’d love to help you make it happen.
I think about life in 6 key areas. I’ll go through each of the six and help you get clarity on what you want. If you’d like to dig deeper into this, you can access our Goals course for free.
Here’s what we’ll cover:
- First principles thinking
- Family
- Community
- Career and financial
- Wellbeing
- Personal development
- Peace of mind
- Making it real
Let’s get started.
First principles thinking
When Elon Musk decides to disrupt an industry, or to do something that’s never been done before, he utilizes first principles thinking. According to Wikipedia, a first principle is a basic proposition or assumption that cannot be deduced from any other proposition or assumption. It’s what is true.
As you work through what it will take for you to feel like you’re living well, it’s wise to use first principles. In each area, I’ll share some first principles.
Common assumptions
We all live under certain assumptions and systems. Perhaps you were raised in a religious tradition, or everyone in your family went to a certain school. Whatever they may be, odds are you feel obligated to act in a certain way, or do specific things.
In each area, after going through the first principles, we’ll go through some common assumptions. The third step is to take both into consideration, and think about how you’d like to move forward.
Family
Odds are, family plays an important role in your life. And you probably experience frustration in this area as well.
Here are some first principles about family. Do any of them resonate with you?
What’s most important?
- Love unconditionally
- Show up for one another
- Provide safety and security
- Respect one another’s autonomy
- Always have their backs
- Listen to one another
- Respect thoughts and feelings
Here are some common assumptions about families. What are some of the assumptions your family has for you?
Whose terms are you living under?
- You need to get married
- You don’t get divorced
- You need to start a family
- You need to live here
- You need to spend time with X
- You need to be straight
- We vote this way
- You need to vacation here
- We have family dinner on Sundays
How to move forward
When you think about living well, how would your ideal family life look?
Community
The famous Harvard Grant study concluded that our social connections are one of the keys to a happy life.
Here are some first principles about community. Do any of them resonate with you?
What’s most important?
- Be a good neighbor
- Clean up your own yard
- Do unto others as you’d have done unto you
- Be kind
- Respect others
- Be an active member
- Be supportive
Here are some common assumptions about community. What are some of the assumptions you’re living under?
Whose terms are you living under?
- Keep up with the Jones’
- Live in this neighborhood
- Have this kind of house
- Belong to this club
- Drive this car
- Go to these places
- Dress a certain way
- Do this, don’t do that
How to move forward
When you think about living well, how would your ideal community life look?
Career and financial
Our work provides us meaning, and it’s where we spend the majority of our time. And while money can’t buy happiness, it does give us options.
Here are some first principles about career and finance. Do any of them resonate with you?
What’s most important?
- Spend less than you make
- Don’t run out of money
- Maximize your income
- Pay yourself first
- Play for emergencies/stay insured
- Build your credit
- Save for retirement
- Risks requires a reward
- Money has time value
- Market prices are generally right
- Don’t borrow what you can’t repay
Here are some common assumptions about career and finance. What are some of the assumptions you’re living under?
Whose terms are you living under?
- This is what we spend money on, this is what we don’t
- This is the career we have
- This is how we invest
- We take risk, we don’t
- We don’t change jobs
- We start our own businesses
How to move forward
When you think about living well, how would your ideal career and financial life look?
Wellbeing
A couple of years ago I asked myself, “Is this the body I want to take with me into the next stage of life?” How about you? I submit we could all improve our physical, mental, and emotional health.
Here are some first principles about wellbeing. Do any of them resonate with you?
What’s most important?
- Eat healthy food
- Exercise consistently
- Be mindful of your mental state
- Be intentional
Here are some common assumptions about wellbeing. What are some of the assumptions you’re living under?
Whose terms are you living under?
- Be vegan/vegetarian/carnivore
- Drink/don’t drink
- Drugs/don’t do drugs
- Run marathons/do yoga
- Meditation is woo woo
How to move forward
When you think about living well, how are you thinking about wellbeing?
Personal development
I don’t think there’s any excuse for not consistently learning and expanding our thinking and perspectives.
Here are some first principles about personal development. Do any of them resonate with you?
What’s most important?
- Be a lifelong learner
- Become an expert
- A curious mind is a healthy mind
- Make up your own mind
Here are some common assumptions about personal development. What are some of the assumptions you’re living under?
Whose terms are you living under?
- Don’t waste your time on X
- Courses are a waste of money
- You only need to know one language
- You’re fine the way you are
How to move forward
When you think about living well, how are you thinking about personal development?
Peace of mind
Peace of mind is a feeling of being safe and protected. How’s your peace of mind?
Here are some first principles about peace of mind. Do any of them resonate with you?
What’s most important?
- We’re all unified by our impulse to find happiness
- Know yourself
- Consider what makes a happy life
- Do the things that bring you peace
- Pursue contentment
Here are some common assumptions about peace of mind. What are some of the assumptions you’re living under?
Whose terms are you living under?
- You’re a Catholic/Muslim/Etc
- We go to church every Sunday
- We pray before meals
How to move forward
When you think about living well, where will you find peace of mind?
Making it real
Have you ever heard the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater?” How about, “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good?”
Thanks for taking the time to go through this. As you spend more time thinking about how you want your life to look, approach making changes wisely.
Whenever we make changes, we encounter resistance. It will come from inside you, as well as from external sources. You, and those in your life, are accustomed to your patterns and habits. When you alter them, everyone involved will notice. Some people will be excited for you, and others will try to keep you where you’re at.
Because of the cost of waiting I touched on at the beginning, I encourage you to take action in service of living well. And be prepared for some challenges along the way.
If you’d like help in jumpstarting change, check out the Strive Online Bootcamp. It’s designed to detox your mind, body and money. And that’s something we can all benefit from every so often.
Good luck on your journey. Let us know how we can better support you.
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